Women's Lib Under Sharia

Pilgrims marking the death of an eighth-century saint had the one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join him today when several women advancing into the ranks of the once male-dominated field of suicide bombers formally joined their fraternity.

Forward-thinking proponents of government conducted in accordance with an ultraconservative interpretation of sharia have in recent years given the nod to the mentally handicapped and to women, actively recruiting them for entry into the profession, the unemployment rate for whose initiates has held steady at an astounding zero percent since statistics have been kept.

Recruiters failed to comment for this story when asked why individuals ordinarily scorned as inferior should be recruited for an endeavor whose craftsmen they claim to be exalted heroes.